The Dharma Life of a Householder

Teachings given by Geshe Tashi Tsering at Langri Tangpa Centre in 1999, translated by Voula Zarpani, edited by Eddie Peet and Miffi Maxmillion.

The term "householder" describes a lay person, a person who is not ordained as a monk or nun. We must understand that both householders and the ordained can experience mental afflictions. Suffering is produced and experienced. It is our attachment, hatred, pride and jealousy that creates all the suffering. It is because we have these mental afflictions that suffering is generated. We know from our own experience the suffering of the afflictions. Ordinary and people and ordained alike know the situation very well. We give or receive suffering because of our behaviour and afflictions.

We must realise is that there is an antidote to these afflictions. There is something that can done to stop the suffering. If we understand this and believe it, and want to be free of these afflictions, then we must put some effort into engaging in a practice that will free us.

Householders who have a lot of possessions and a big name are usually considered to be important people. There is a responsibility that comes with this. They too must know that there is a means to achieving a complete cessation of suffering. All the wealth, possessions and glory are exactly what samsara is. The more of these we have, the longer we remain in cyclic existence. Why? Because of the great difficulty in letting go of these things. The more possessions we have and the greater our fame, the more solid our attachment to them is. The more we like these things, the more difficult it is to generate a sincere wish or aspiration to reach Liberation.

Understanding that “through knowledge we can cross the river”, we have a much better chance of becoming free of the emotional afflictions.

Ordinary people and ordained people alike, if we put effort into understanding the Four Noble Truths, have the potential to free ourselves from the afflictions. This doesn’t mean that we develop just the initial understanding of these truths, but that we understand the ultimate way that the Four Noble Truths exist.

In this way both lay and ordained people have the ability to put an end to the great ignorance of self-grasping. We can have the victory of getting out of cyclic existence and achieving liberation.

The text says 'glory lies in the lap of the householder'. This means that householders are able to gain the victory over cyclic existence. It means that we don't have to be an ordained person. Ordained and lay people equally have the ability to have this glory, this victory.

The word for "ordained" in Tibetan means "someone who has definitely emerged from something". This refers to the attachment to the pleasures of cyclic existence. Generally, the person getting ordained is someone who is able to let go, to release their attachment to the pleasures of cyclic existence. And in general, the householder or the lay person is someone who has not yet been able to let go of this. That's why they are not ordained yet.

The text from Arya Nagarjuna is a traditional presentation. Nagarjuna takes it for granted that the householder cannot release and cannot sacrifice. They cannot let go of the pleasures of cyclic existence. Taking this for granted, he says that a householder should try to experience and use the pleasures of cyclic existence and still not be totally satisfied by them. The householder or lay person should be able to say "I understand that at times there is some pleasure in cyclic existence, and I enjoy this. And although I'm not ready to let go of it all, I understand that there is a pleasure and a happiness that is much greater than this. Although I'm experiencing happiness and pleasure at present, I am actually aspiring to the happiness and pleasure of Liberation".

Nagarjuna knows that although we can’t give up our little attachments at the moment, we can at least aspire to something bigger. We should never be totally absorbed and satisfied by this small amount of happiness.

Our whole day is full of activities, big and small, so we must do these with a specific motivation. We should say, "I would like everything I do today to be something that is beneficial for others. I would also like it to become a cause for my own Liberation. If I can’t make my actions beneficial for others, at least I will try to avoid harming them".

We must try to do our activities with this specific motivation. Then when we come to the end of the day we can say, "all right, I understand that it is very difficult for my whole day to be virtuous. It's very difficult to say that every little thing I thought or said was 100% beneficial for others, but at least I had the right motivation. I tried. And probably the majority of all these activities will become a cause for the liberation of myself and others".

The advice that Arya Nagarjuna gives is quite deep. He says that householders can go through life and experience all the pleasure and happiness that they have, but they shouldn't leave it at that. We should try to understand the Four Noble Truths and through this, we should aspire to liberation.

Of course we have to live our life, and it is important that we enjoy things, but we should also understand that these things are limited. There is something much, much bigger and satisfying than these.

We can say "yes, I'm human, I'm a householder and I’m not ordained. There are things to enjoy in this life. But I won't just stay caught up in these little things. I will always keep the broader picture in mind, and I will always aspire for something bigger."

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